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Psalm 25:12
Who is the man who reverently fears and worships the Lord? Him shall He teach in the way that he should choose.
Do you ever look back at the choices you have made in life and wish you could have known then, what you know now?
Life is a journey and there will be many twists and turns; but there is a priceless gift that God gives to those who will prioritize Him and honor Him from their heart – it is the ability to choose wisely in all the affairs of their lives.
Our lives are not a rehearsal. Each day is only available to us once; and each day we are faced with choices – decisions that, once we have made them, will plot a course that will either make or break us.
Having the option to choose, places a person in a powerful position. Once the choice is made, the consequences are also set, and we no longer have the privilege to choose our outcomes.
For example, if you choose to commit an armed robbery, you also choose to go to jail.
There is no such thing as being neutral in life. If you abstain from making a tough decision of some kind, that is also a decision, which will have it’s own set of consequences.
The crazy thing about this generation is that people want to be able to make choices and then accept or reject the consequences when they come.
We come to a place of sobriety about our lives, when we accept that choices have outcomes attached.
Nowhere is this more true than in the area of relationships.
If you choose to be married you can no longer behave as if you are single. You can’t do everything you want to do any more, or prioritize the same things as you used to, because you are married now, and marriage is the privilege to steward another person’ s life. That means that your first priority in every action from now on is the wellbeing of your spouse.
If you choose to keep a score card of all the things the other person has done wrong, you will drive a wedge between you, to an even greater degree than the wrong actions even did.
You compound the issues of tension when you choose to bring up the past and use it against your husband or wife.
Your job in a marriage is not to punish the other. Did you really get together so that you could be horrible to one another and prove how wrong they are all the time? Was that really the aim in mind that you had when you first declared your love for one another?
Anything you despise will eventually leave your life. Don’t fool yourself that you can continually criticize your spouse even just in the quietness of your own mind and still enjoy a good relationship.
It is the glory of a man to overlook an offense.
The trouble is that we are so passionate about being right whenever there is a dispute about something!
Being right is actually highly over rated. It doesn’t bring you a reward that you will enjoy at all. In fact, if you win the argument, but lose the person in the process, you have lost something greater.
Being right cannot love you or hug you or show you affection.
The truth is that you should make the choice upfront: “In order to stay married and to enjoy my relationship, I relinquish the desire to be proven right all the time – even when I KNOW that I am!” Now that is a wise choice!
Decide not to treat your spouse as their sins deserve. Imagine that you are the one with the unique privilege to steward his or her weakness! In fact there is nothing wrong with your spouse that the love of God flowing through you cannot heal.
Of course if you think that the person you are considering marrying has the potential to really harm you, you shouldn’t marry them. No one is called by God to be a punch bag for anyone else. Before you say, “I do”, you must be confident that you are prepared to steward this person’s life and that he or she is capable of stewarding yours.
When things become tough in a marriage, people become so afraid that they chose the wrong person to marry.
But God didn’t set it up like some crazy game of finding the one perfect person for you!
Choosing who to marry is YOUR choice. Even Adam had a choice and chose Eve. God never tells anyone that they have to marry another human being – especially not one that you don’t even find attractive. Let’s not make God out to be weird! He created you and wired you a certain way to like and prefer certain characteristics in another person.
According to where you are at, you might make a really good choice, or you might make a choice to pick someone with whom building a life and family together will require more work. You are supposed to enjoy one another, so don’t make it too hard for yourself on purpose!
As soon as you make your choice, God gets right into the middle of it, and the minute you say, “I do” He seals your decision and your chosen person becomes the right person. It is a spiritual transaction, and God is the third cord, adding a strength to your union together which is supernatural.
The most powerful choice you can make within your marriage, or in any relationship, is that of forgiveness and acceptance of the person you chose. Celebrate and admire them, and continue to enjoy the qualities for which you picked them out.
Remember that the other person is a human being, just like you. They have a nice side and a not-so-nice side. But having someone to share your days with, is a wonderful thing.
In fact the greatest thing any of us can experience is to give ourselves fully in love to another person.
If you ever get to invest your love totally in the life of another, who loves you back in the same way, you are the most blessed person!
Make one crucial decision right now and declare it: “That’s me!”
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